We’ve presented it at libraries across the city and ‘burbs. We’ve staged it at the American Writers Museum and City Hall. We’ve “put on shows” at the Career Transitions Center of Chicago and NextDoor Chicago. All to great acclaim. Yes, “Life in the Freelance Lane: Business Basics for Freelance Writing Success” has been just about everywhere! Everywhere but...IWOC itself? How could we have committed such an egregious oversight! Well we decided to rectify that faux pas. Tout de suite! At the next IWOC meeting (November 12), Jeff Steele, David Steinkraus and yours truly will be comin’ home to IWOC, as it were, showcasing our collective wit and wisdom as we share the secrets with IWOC members and non-members alike on how to make a good-to-great living when Living La Vida Freelance.

It’s going to sound a lot like bragging here, but as someone once said, “It ain’t bragging if it’s true.” So here’s the truth: After every single presentation, attendees have flocked to us three presenters, eager to tell us how inspired they were and couldn’t wait to get started; how they thirsted for the kind of practical, common sense, turnkey information they just heard in the presentation – and could never seem to get in college or out of articles and books. In all immodesty, I have to say, I agree. And for these reasons:

1. Jeff, David and I have all been in the trenches. We speak the unvarnished truth about our experiences, and about freelance in general. The ups and the downs. The successes and the setbacks, learning from each one. And we seriously enjoy sharing those hard-earned, hard-won lessons so you don’t have to reinvent those wheels.

2. The program is filled with common sense pointers that apparently aren’t all that common. When we say things like “Make or beat deadlines” ... or “Treat your client’s business as if it were your own”... or “Even if you’re being interviewed for a gig, it isn’t about you. It’s about your client”...it’s kind of amazing to see how many “aha” moments those basic axioms elicit. Simple stuff. Yet not put into practice as often as you’d imagine.

And speaking of simple...

3. A lot of freelance “experts” love to scare, and make the whole idea of freelancing sound complex and esoteric.

We are not afraid to “keep it simple.” Because when it comes right down to it, contrary to popular assumptions, there is no real mystery to successful freelancing. As we say in the presentation, “It’s all about reaching out.” That’s the simplicity of it.

Of course, there is a lot more to the presentation than that. But still, containing all very doable, digestible pointers you can make your own and start using immediately.

Whether you’re a seasoned freelancer or just starting out, member of IWOC or friend of, we’d love to see you at the presentation. We’ve found that attendees at all levels are often filled with even more great advice that we presenters learn from as well. And the questions asked at the end are always on just about everybody’s mind. So, on November 12, do join in the fun – ‘cause that’s what it is.

Here’s to Living La Vida Freelance...successfully!

- Laura Stigler

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What’s the deal with Autumn? As far as equinoxes go, Spring is lovely, to be sure. But Autumn! There’s something about the season that stirs up pangs of nostalgia. In a good way. Maybe it’s the heady memory of those spanking new school supplies, redolent with the promise of fresh starts. Ahh, I loved the smell of library paste in the morning! (FLASHBACK HARP SFX) Alright now, boys and girls. Settle down, settle down. Take your seats. As we are about to start the coming year afresh, I want you to write a short essay -- (groan!) – Oh, very well then. Make it a Wish List of what you would like IWOC to offer or accomplish in 2019-20. (Yayyyy!!!) .

Here are my wishes, combined with ones told to me by fellow IWOC’ers, that may inspire wishes of your own:

• More business outreach. Among businesses big and small, increasing awareness of IWOC as the go-to resource when in need of professional writers has been on the docket for awhile. But it takes volunteers to put that wish into action. Happily, a committee is being formed to do just that. If you’d like to help out in this important endeavor – one that can have the added perk of putting you in connection with businesses that may hire you – raise your hand. Excellent! Contact Tephra Miriam. You’ll be welcomed aboard.

• Job Fair. Upon establishing relationships with more businesses, our wish is to be able to arrange a Job Fair where you can meet, greet and impress decision-makers who hire.

• Author Book Fair. Wouldn’t it be fun to hold a Book Fair where IWOC authors can sell their works? Maybe we open it up to other writers organizations whose author members could pay a nominal fee to IWOC for the opportunity to sell their books. For authors and IWOC, it could be a win-win all around.

• More Mixers. Always great networking opportunities. One is in the works with the Chicago Creative Coalition, whose members run the gamut in the communications arts professions, from graphic artists, website designers and photogs to interior designers, pre-press technicians and more. Who knows? It may lead to a business collaboration!

• Read Your Works. Could be a panel formed for one of our monthly programs, or even arranged as a special event! Whatever the work may be -- an excerpt from your book or play. A blog entry you’re particularly proud of. An informative article, entertaining ad or radio spot. A heartfelt poem or song. Share it and let’s hear it.

Those are just some of the wishes swirling around like autumn leaves. Tell me all about yours and they will be included for discussion in our October 8 Board meeting as we plan for 2019-20. Deadline: October 7.

New pencils sharpened? Start!

- Laura Stigler

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On August 29, Mayor Lightfoot reported on the State of the City. The news? Not good. In stark contrast, and as Commander- in-Chief of IWOC, I can definitively declare that the State of IWOC is very good. Nay, excellent. Most notably, IWOC is way more financially solvent than our fair City – thus enabling us to not only cover our operating costs, but to continue offering programs, parties, perks and other things (that don’t necessarily begin with “p”) aimed at benefitting the careers and, dare I say, even the morale of our members. There’s something going on here. Call it an energy surge. But it’s palpable, much of it owed to what has transpired throughout this past year, namely...

• Our exploding Social Media outreach, thanks to Tephra Miriam. She has nimbly taken all our social media platforms to a whole new, fun level that raises IWOC’s profile to a whole new, fun level. (Plus, we got 600 meetup.com members – and counting every day!).

• A 33% increase in IWOC membership since September 2018. Membership Chair Alicia Dale, with her unstoppable flow of ideas and gregarious nature, has gone full throttle in attracting and maintaining an outstanding caliber of members. Check out their profiles in the Online Directory and see for yourself:
• Professional Members: Joseph Wycoff, Matthew Mayer, Manuel Galvan, Jay Schwartz, Chris Zambory, Carrie Pallardy, Chloe Riley, Patience Kramer, Richard Pallardy, Chris Ruys, Dan Gillogly, Ben Durham, Tonia Humphrey, Greg King, Jim Ardito, Desiree Mulkey, Francine Friedman, Terry Nugent, Natalie Roth, David Witter, Morgan Carey Bergren,  Ted Barnhart
• Associate Members: Daise Imakando, Donna Gregory, Anne Hagerty, Christina Michael, Sandra Steele, Allison Torem, Lucia Mouat, Jennifer Posternack, Michele Popadich, Maria Rodriguez, Roberta Krause, Genevieve Waller.

• Ongoing program excellence. Program Chair Jeff Steele and his stalwart Committee of Vladimire Herard, Betsy Storm and Julie Polanco, along with contributions from Ms. Dale have continued to bring in programs that both informed and entertained. Members who missed any can download the podcasts on our Members Resource page and relive such career-polishing gems as: The Chunky Method of Writing, Benefit Big by Blogging for Business, Secrets of Copywriting Success, Real Time Networking, Perfect Your 90-second Pitch, Pump up Profits by Increasing Your Efficiency, How to Build Your Success through Online Video Stories, Understanding Content Strategy to Create Brilliant Copy, and How to Use LinkedIn for Freelance Success.

• Promoting our members. Proud of their breaking news and accomplishments, horns were tooted for:
• Laura Stigler (the Chicago premiere of her fun-woman show, “Nashville Notes: The Diary of a Mad Songwriter”)
• Tephra Miriam (Escape to Pearl City, Book 2 in her YA Clown Town Adventures fantasy fiction series; published children’s book A Monster or a Microwave; signed on as contributor of articles to media powerhouse Kivo Daily)
• Roberta Allen (the book launching of her memoir Examined Lives)
• Jarmila Del Boccio (winning Word Weaver’s Georgia Peach contest for Soli’s Saving Grace and debut of The Heart Changer, both historical fiction)
• Francesca Peppiatt (her story published in Chicken Soup for the Soul’s “Running for Good” edition; staged readings of her play, “The Girls: Together Again” and her one-person show for Chicago Writers Bloc)
• Alicia Dale (spoke on “Negotiating Tactics” at SheSays Chicago “Who’s Your Momma” event)
• Julie Polanco (raising funds for Purple Asparagus Food Justice Org via publication of her children’s book, The Flavor of Friendship)
• Manuel Galvan (hosted Roundtable Meeting at Union League Club to discuss Chicago’s mayoral candidates)
• Kathryn Occhipinti (her collaboration with Chicago’s Italian American Voice, Fra Noi.com)
• Kathleen Spaltro (The Great Lie: The Creation of Mary Astor bio to be published by University Press of Mississippi; articles published in Illinois Heritage)
• Karin McKie (directed dramatic reading of Phantom Collective production, "Last Thoughts of Mary Stuart")
• At the 2019 Printer’s Row Lit Fest, IWOC promoted books authored by IWOC-ers Adela Durkee, Veronica Hinke, Tephra Miriam, Kathryn Occhipinti, Karen Sandrick, Betsy Storm and Marci Rolnik Walker

• Events of Interest. We’re not the only ones who put on great programs. So we let IWOC-ers and IWOC followers know about those, too. This past year alone, we’ve passed the word on:
• The March Book Madness Author Event where writers of all genres got to schmooze and meet renowned American author Don S. McClure, who doled out authorly tips
• CRAFT First Chapters Contest
• John Waters book signing
• The Impostors Theatre Company’s search for submission to FOOTHOLDS, their community-devised production of short plays
• 57th Street 31st annual Children’s Book Fair
• 2019 Soulful Chicago Book Fair
• CWIP Publishing Fair networking event
• CWIP 2nd Annual Writers Conference
• Hostel International USA offering travel scholarship for young adults ages 18 to 30
• School of the Art Institute’s invitation to join a community of writers via SAI’s Master’s Degree program
• 30-minute webinar hosted by Sara Connell, the nationally celebrated coach to aspiring authors
• Chicago Creative Cocktail Party, hosted by Chicago Screenwriters Network
• Chicago Association for Business Economics presentation on job compensation

• “Life in the Freelance Lane: Business Basics for Freelance Writing Success,” hosted by Laura Stigler, Jeff Steele and David Steinkraus, the presentations are becoming ever more in demand, with appearances this past year at the Wilmette Public Library and encores performed at Skokie Public Library, City Hall, Chicago Career Transitions Center, and most recently, at NextDoor Chicago. Benefitting the writing community at large, the talks also have been benefitting IWOC, inspiring over a dozen attendees to join IWOC!

• Parties. Not talking political ones here. Just the fun kind, and we had ‘em – the Winter Holiday soiree at Café Iberico (delicioso!) and at Athena for IWOCFest (Νόστιμα!)

Yup. 2018-19. As the song says (and what Mayor Lightfoot couldn’t say), “It was a very good year.”

Any ideas for 2019-20? Do tell in the comment section.

Onward!

- Laura Stigler

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Cred. As in “credentials.” For the longest time after I joined IWOC, I sat back and let the organization roll on and work for me without contributing much in return – other than my yearly membership dues. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) I was quite content in that role, fortunate to get enough work via my Directory Profile that enabled me to make a career out of freelance writing. But after several years, the gnawing sensation that I really needed to give back started to creep in. So, I took the plunge, joined the PR Committee, and from 2004 to 2016 wrote IWOC’s press releases for the monthly programs. Along the way, a funny thing happened to me: Not only was I able to polish the skills it takes to write a press release, but I gained the confidence to add “Press Releases” to my résumé – garnering work in that area that I never would have gotten otherwise. I increased my cred.

IWOC can do that. Bring out skills, talents, sides of you that you may not have realized were there, adding value as a writer – or just as a person! All of which can help attract more clients. So, if you’d like to discover what’s in you that may be lying dormant – or just benefit IWOC (and yourself) by expanding the avenues where you can put to use the abilities you excel at, my advice? Join an IWOC Committee! Examples:

• Membership Com: After being an IWOC member for only a few months, Alicia Dale was already smitten with the organization. Alicia is a genuine people person. Perfect for Membership. She embraced the Chair role and knew she found her niche. Not only has she helped increase IWOC’s membership by 10%+ in one year, but by reaching out to members both new and seasoned, she was able to give and get advice that has symbiotically helped advance careers – her own and others’. Sound like a niche for you? Get in touch with Alicia.

• Program Com: Chair Jeff Steele is IWOC’s resident showman. If you’ve ever been greeted by him, you know of what I speak. Enter a room and he makes you feel like you’re a star appearing on “Late Night.” He loves “putting on a show” based on great ideas, whether they’re his own or coming from his Pro Com colleagues. If you’ve got ideas for fun, informative, practical programs, get with the Program! Talk to Jeff.

• StetBlog: Cynthia Tomusiak is IWOC’s Editor of the Stet newsletter cum blog. And she does so from her digs in Nevada! Cynthia is always looking for contributors that will help make the StetBlog more interactive, interesting, informative – or just a good read. If there’s ever a way that can increase your SEO ranking, it’s a blog. IWOC gives you the opportunity to do just that. If you’ve got ideas for topics about the world of writing, or the business of writing – anything you feel would be of interest to writers, contact Cynthia to get on the StetBlog staff! Added bonus: You get to exhibit your own writing chops to IWOC’s nearly 800 contacts plus Social Media followers -- not to mention have your posts be visible to prospective clients. And speaking of Social Media...

• Social Media Com: Tephra Miriam is our Social Media Master, brilliantly posting all things fascinating about IWOC, writing, writers’ groups, writers events, etc. – and news about IWOC members! If you want to get on board this train, contact Tephra. Not only will you learn from a real expert about the how-tos of SM (i.e., if you don't already know them), but you can become proficient enough to add that in-demand field of expertise to your listings on IWOC’s Online Directory.

• Public Relations Com: Got a background in PR? Or would like to start building one? Contact PR Chair Katherine Mikkelson, who’s been serving on the committee since 2004 first as distributing the releases, then taking over the writing of them in 2016. Now residing in Dallas, TX, she wouldn’t mind handing over the reins to other capable hands. For you, PR could mean writing the monthly press releases, but it can go way beyond that. This is a wide-open committee that you could shape according to your abilities – or wishes.

• Web Com: Does tech scare you? It did me. Just a little. But when Webmaster Roger Rueff explained how IWOC’s web server works so even I can understand, it really proved itself to be a most intuitive system. So now I’m posting events. Uploading our podcasts. Editing. Mass e-blasting. You name it. Me! A techie! How about you? Imagine the high you can get mastering an area usually anathema to us writerly types. It may even help you to gain confidence in creating your own website, if you’ve yet to build one. Contact Roger or me if you’d like to try your hand at this winnable game.

So seriously. Do consider participating in any one (or more) of the above Committees. Or devise one of your own. (Event Planner, anyone?) When you do, don’t be surprised if the same funny things that happened to me (fattening the résumé, boosting confidence, a rise in SEO rankings) – can happen to you!

- Laura Stigler

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George Becht coordinated IWOC's presence at LitFest and nine IWOC members volunteered to help staff our space in four two-hour shifts each day. A great big THANK YOU to all the volunteers.

We were one of 15 exhibitors under the Illinois Woman's Press Association (IWPA) tent in the middle of Dearborn street on Saturday and Sunday, 8 and 9 June.

Our purpose in being there was threefold:

• Solicit members. This is the primary potential for the event's attendees and we were able to have quite a few engaging conversations on both days. About 50 people signed up to be on our email list for further information and notices..
• Solicit businesses to engage our members. We did have a few inquiries and were able to direct those folks to the Find A Writer area of the website.
• Allow members to display and sell their books. Seven members displayed their books and volunteers were able to close three sales.

• 

In all, a successful event with positive anticipation for next year.

- George Becht

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No, this is not about the profile we all examine critically in a 3-way mirror. (I do, anyway.) I’m referring to the profile you have posted on IWOC’s Online Directory. The one that is your business’s calling card, posted to capture clients from all corners of the globe who are in search of professional independent writers in Chicago. The one that could make a difference in hiring you – or someone else. Far be it from me to be critical of that profile either. But I’d like to suggest a few places where you could nip and tuck that may help you optimize your opportunities for garnering more work – tips taken from analyzing the profiles of those who get work through IWOC. And lots of it.

First, you must know...

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1000 times. But it bears repeating for the 1001st: Clients don’t necessarily know who you are, or that you even exist. (Brutally stated, but true.) So when they go a-Googling for freelance writers, they won’t be entering your name. They’ll be entering such keywords/phrases as “Chicago freelance writers” – or variations thereof. When they do, IWOC will come up on the very first page, if not in the top 3 rankings. They’ll then go to www.iwoc.org, click on “Find a Writer,” and enter a specialty or field of expertise. If it happens to be one of yours, your name will pop up. Amongst the millions of writers the world over, clients will be reaching out to you. No cold calling needed on your part. That’s called a “warm lead.” Cool!

So now that clients are eyeballing your profile, ask yourself: Is it attractive enough? I don’t mean in the glamour-puss sense. I mean in the business sense. Will it attract them? Make them feel that you’re the writer who can save their day and then get them to contact you? Following are points to ponder that may very well raise your chances of getting them to do just that.

1). You oughta be in pictures.

That headshot of yours. Is there one? Or if so, is it one of those generic “silhouettes” that look like you’re in a witness protection program? Why the mystery? Post a real picture. Doesn’t have to be shot by Annie Leibowitz. Just make sure it’s of good quality. Clear. And that you look professional – but approachable. It’s been scientifically proven that words accompanied by pictures are far more likely to be read. The same, I would venture to guess, would be true for your profile.

2. The “Summary” section

Consider this to be your elevator speech. On a 3-story elevator ride. You have about 30 words to grab potential clients by the collar. So cut out the fat and make sure every one of those words carries its weight in gold. Thoughts to consider:

• What kind of writing do you do? Summarize it in sharp, concise terms. Think of your words as hors d’oeuvres. Small bites that pack a tasty wallop.
• What is the biggest benefit you can offer clients that would separate you from the pack?

3. The difference is in the “Details” section

Here’s the section where you get to flesh out the “Summary.” Several thoughts:

• While “business speak” is never a mistake, it also never hurts to let your personality shine through. If you want to inject some humor, why not? Use an unconventional adjective? Go for it. You’re a writer. You’re allowed!
• The wall of copy. Nothing can be more daunting to a reader than seeing a solid copy block that’s as long as a train of CVS coupons. Without any breaks in between. Break it up, kids! Into more easily digestible paragraphs.
• The Details section is not for merely slapping up your résumé. Nor is it making the best usage of the space by just entering a laundry list of what you already have listed in your listings! This is your first chance to showcase your writing ability and form a narrative that flows. (NO TYPOS, PLEASE!) Here is where you get to put meat on the bones, expanding for instance, on what you offer, your strong suits, ways in which you’ve helped clients solve problems, etc. As for your résumé, consider attaching it to your profile as one of your samples – and mention that.
• Afraid to sound like you’re bragging? It’s ok. It’s not bragging if it’s true! You’re just being confident about your accomplishments, abilities and problem-solving savvy. For the record, clients love confidence. It puts their mind at ease.
• Here’s a BIG secret: If one of your areas of writing isn’t on the Expertise or Specialties list, state it in the Details section. Example: Let’s say one of your specialties is writing about pet care. Include it in your narrative. If a client does an “Advanced Search” under the “Details” field and enters the word “pet,” your name will come up. Ka-ching!

4. If you’ve got links, flaunt ‘em.

Post the links to your Social Media platforms, blogs...but especially, to your website, where clients can really drill down into who you are and what you do. And speaking of websites, if you’re going to direct clients there, be sure your site looks clean, contemporary, is up-to-date and easy to navigate. Your website is what will most likely motivate a client to get in touch.

5. As for sewing up the deal...

That’s out of IWOC’s hands -- and in yours. But at the very least, through a strong, engaging online profile, you’ve increased your chances of attracting a client’s attention and bringing them to the table. The potential for landing more business? Lookin’ good!

- Laura Stigler

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Fresh off our Magical Mystery "Life in the Freelance Lane"* tour, I’m seeing a pattern in some of the questions we get asked. No matter where we present, from the American Writers Museum to Skokie Library to the Career Transitions Center of Chicago...to our most recent presentation at Next Door Chicago (a buzzing community hive located in Lincoln Park), budding (or even seasoned) freelancers are consistently inquiring: 1) “Do I need to set up an LLC?” 2) “Do I need a license to start my freelance writing business?” and 3) “Do I need a tax permit?”

Gonna be totally frank here. When I started out freelancing, none – and I mean none – of those questions ever crossed my mind. Under the heading of “Ignorance is Bliss,” I began my business simply by making cold calls, answering ads and joining IWOC. This was in 1989. Knock wood a million times, I’ve been working ever since. Yes, throughout the years there have been feasts and famines. But overall, the work has been steady. Apparently Ignorance has paid off, and freed me to just dive in and start earning a living doing what I love. Again, knock wood.

So for the record, let’s unpack each of the questions with as pithy an answer as I can muster.

1). “Do I need to set up my business as an LLC?” Disclaimer: I’m no lawyer. But from the way it was explained to me, LLC’s do have some advantages, such as:

• You can set up a 401k, which you can even borrow against should the need arise.
• It protects you against liability.
• You can pursue giant clients, who sometimes like that protection.

Taking all that into consideration, here’s the most sensible advice I’ve heard from experts: START MAKING MONEY FIRST. I also have to say that unless you intend to engage in slander, lies and plagiarism, there ain’t a whole lot you can be sued for when you’re on assignment. But don’t quote me on any of this. Best to consult an attorney. (We have a great one right here in our midst: IWOC member Marci Rolnik Walker of Lawyers for the Creative Arts.)

2).“Do I need a license to start my freelance writing business?”Not unless you’re planning to also give Botox injections. Or sell booze. Or offer hair weaving services. That sort of thing. In other words, even if you’re getting paid for it, you don’t need a license to write.

3). “Do I need a tax permit?” Not quite sure what is meant by that. But the only thing related to taxes that I deal with is paying them quarterly, using the 1040-ES (Federal) and IL-1040-ES (State) forms you can download from online. You can also pay online. But I am not a CPA either. So my advice would be to talk to your trusty accountant to discuss your particular situation.

The bottom line is this: Freelance writing is probably one of the easiest businesses in the world to set up. Yes, you can chase your tail, make sure all your ducks are in a row, get sidetracked with articles and classes that will give you every imaginable and confusing – and even irrelevant “how-to.” Writers are infamous procrastinators, and sometimes, all these “to-dos” are nothing more than procrastination tactics.

To start working as a freelance writer, all you really need is your computer and a phone. Oh yes, and your talent. That’s it. You’re ready to hang out your shingle.

Now, as those experts advise: Just. Start!

- Laura Stigler

* "Life in the Freelance Lane: Business Basics for Freelance Writing Success" is presented regularly at various venues throughout Chicago and surrounding suburbs. Regular speakers are Jeff Steele and Laura Stigler, along with alternating presenters George Becht, Sally Chapralis and David Steinkraus. If you'd like to join our speakers roster or host a presentation at your venue, please contact president@iwoc.org or scribsteel@ameritech.net

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Apps, blogs and self-help books aside, arguably the simplest, most effective organizational tool I have ever come across is the Eisenhower Box. Perhaps you’ve already heard of it. Maybe even from me, as I’ve touched upon the subject in last month’s StetBlog about March’s Roundtable. But it’s worth delving into, as it really has helped resolve my perennial Spring Cleaning resolution, “I’ve GOT to get more organized!” Maybe it will help resolve yours. After all, better organized = more productive.

In a convenient nutshell – or box: The Eisenhower Box was (obviously) devised by the 34th U.S. President himself. And if anyone would have a supremely efficient organizational strategy, it would be a WWII 5-star General.

So...

ATTENTION! Note the four quadrants in the accompanying diagram. Particularly the headings “Urgent” and “Not Urgent.” Those two words alone have cleared my brain’s obstacle course, so that when about to attack a particular task, I’m automatically asking myself, “Is this urgent?” Most of the time it turns out to be a covert procrastination trap. A sinister distraction from getting to things that are urgent. Like deadlines.

As an example of how I incorporate the Eisenhower Box in my day, I will run through the mundanities of last Sunday. (Spoiler alert: If you think the life of an IWOC President is all State Dinners and croquet matches in the Rose Garden, you will quickly be disabused of that notion.)

The four tasks at hand, NOT in the order of urgency: 1) A Wednesday assignment deadline, 2) IWOC emails, 3) cooking a brisket for two guests, 4) cleaning (for the guests). While everything on that list initially had me in panic mode, I put myself at ease by thinking “Urgent/Important” and “Not Urgent/Important.” Like disciplined soldiers, everything dutifully fell into place and in this order: Cleaning, Brisket, IWOC emails, Deadline. I deleted the “Non-Urgent/Non-Important”-- the trifles that always manage to lure me off course: Polishing a pewter votive, clipping coupons, treating cuticles, catching the Sunday morning news shows – and dozens of others.

Yesterday (Monday) had presented a whole new list of “to-dos,” demanding a reconnaissance thereof. What I decided to put off Sunday as “Not Urgent/Important,” now has moved to Urgent/Important: The Assignment Deadline. Also urgent: This Post, also due Wednesday. Of the two, paid work takes precedence. So I completed that yesterday, and today (Tuesday), I'm this close to finishing the Post. Wooo Woooo! Missions accomplished!

Nothing like the feeling of getting one’s to-dos...done. Are yours? Stop reading this and start tackling what’s “Urgent.” Forward...march!

- Laura Stigler

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Have you been totally rejected lately? Have you applied for a job or sent something in to a publisher and received a form rejection back? They’re always the same—impersonal, indifferent, coldly standardized. Don’t despair, Jimbo’s here and I am a master of rejection. In my younger days, I was rejected by countless women. Maybe that was because I looked like Quasimodo and had a hump on my face! But most of my rejections came from magazines that shot down the articles or stories I sent in.

The rejections piled up; in fact, I literally papered the wall with them. Worst of all, they were always form rejections, which inspired my revenge. I found a brilliant way to get back and make a point, which I joyfully share with you now as a way of getting even and who knows?—maybe a way of getting what you want. I devised this rejection of their rejection letter.

I sent that letter out and got some wonderful responses back from editors, including a rejection of my rejection of their rejection letter. This letter allowed me to establish a relationship with one editor who eventually did publish an article. See? Being a smart aleck and wiseass can pay off. Rejection? Who needs it? We get enough of it in life—especially if you have a hump on your face! P.S. My picture has been edited.

Leap from rejection to utter love and acceptancewith this dish. In Italian, the “brother devil” in the name comes from the addition of red pepper, which adds nicea spicea. This is truly my favorite food in the world and that covers a lot of dishes—the essence of lobster permeates every loving spoonful of the sauce and each strand of luscious linguini. When I was growing up, this was our family Christmas Eve, “White Dish” favorite. My mother did not particularly love it or any shellfish, but she wasn’t selfish so she served it anyway. Oh, reject adding parmesan cheese. That’s forbidden with this recipe and most every Italian fish dish.

What youza need:

3 Tbls olive oil

10 unclothed cloves of garlic (this dish is spicy!)

1 onion (chopped)

Salt, pepper to taste

¼ cup oregano, 10 leaves fresh basil, garlic powder, 2 bay leaves

4 16 oz. cans Contadina Crushed Tomatoes in Puree (if you’re making this, make a lot)

2 whole lobsters (3 if you can swing it—Super H market in Niles often has live lobsters for $8.00 a lb)

Red pepper flakes (shakes to taste)

½ cup parsley

1 ½ cups white wine

What youza do:

This is gross, but you’re going to have to kill the lobsters or have the fish monger do it. Is there a humane way to kill a lobster? Is that an oxymoron? Who knows, but I’ve read about this and the jury seems to be out as to whether lobsters feel pain and if you can get a life sentence for killing them? The prevailing opinion is that the best way to do them in is to numb them first in the freezer for 15 minutes to an hour, then plunge a sharp knife straight down right behind the eyes. Yikes! Sorry to bring up an indelicate point when discussing a delicacy – and it really is—so don’t hesitate for a second to kill them and cook this anyway. (Sorry, PETA people.)

After they’re dead and you’ve expressed proper remorse (seriously), cut the belly open. I used to throw out the “tamale” (a.k.a. guts). I now know this is considered a sacrilege since the tamale is a source of much lobster flavor.

Heat the oil in a large saucepan and sauté the onions and then the garlic. Remove these babies, add a little more oil, put the lobsters in and sauté them until they turn as crimson as a Cape Cod sunset. Remove lobsters, put onions and garlic back in, add tomatoes, wine and all the spices. Simmer for around an hour. Add lobsters and cook on medium high heat for no more than 20 minutes. Turn off the heat and go read the Brothers Karamazov. In short, wait a long time.

The longer you let this sauce sit, the better. Let it rest for at least three hours, but it’s best if you can keep it in the fridge overnight. This really transforms the dish and I strongly recommend it. Reheat the sauce just before the linguini is done. Cook your pasta al denti, pour it onto a platter and add sauce quickly so the pasta doesn’t get pasty. Place at least one lobster in the center, garnish with parsley and serve proudly. The presentation looks spectacular and the taste is incomparable. Your guests will go wild—expect it and accept it.

- James Ardito

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I had a call a few days ago from a woman who told me she found my name in the IWOC directory and is looking for someone who will ghostwrite her autobiography. She said she’s led a fascinating life and wants to put her story into book form to share with others.

This is not the kind of ghostwriting that I do. I told her, though, that I had a couple of questions for her along with a suggestion.

First, I asked what books she reads. She replied that she reads some articles but rarely any books. My response was to tell her that before thinking about writing a book, she needs to read. And read. And then read some more. You can’t write books without reading books.

Second, I asked her who she thought would buy her book and who would read her book; they’re not always the same. She said she hadn’t really thought about that. I suggested she think hard about an audience because writing the book is only about one third to a half of the project she has in mind. There’s a lot more effort needed to get rid of all those books once you’ve done the work and been published.

Third, I explained how people buy books in a bookstore or off a rack in a drugstore or from some retailer. Think about it: how do you buy a book? Tons of research shows that readers attracted by a book’s cover pick it up from the shelf, open it or turn it around, and read the blurb on the inside flap or the back cover. Readers who like what they see may then check the table of contents (nonfiction) and read a page or two. If they like that small sample, they may take the book to the cashier and buy it. Or not.

Then I gave her an assignment. I told her to write a blurb about her book, something that would entice a reader to make that purchase. She has no idea at this point what form her book will take; she hasn’t yet found a writer. But she knows her story. I told her writing a blurb of about two hundred words will help her focus on what she wants to say and how she wants to say it. Most important it will make her think about how to make her story appealing to a reader—and a ghostwriter.

Writing and publishing a book is a process, and it’s work—hard work. It requires planning, organizing, honing, lots of rewriting, and, before typing a single word, figuring out who the book’s reader is going to be. The process is the same whether you’re going to approach a professional publisher or take the self-publishing route. And so is marketing the book. The days of finding a publisher who will guide and coach first-time authors and then turn their work into a marketable product are long gone.

I asked whether my caller was offended by my questions and suggestions. No, she said, she was grateful. Our little ten-minute telephone conversation had helped her figure out what a big job lies ahead, how likely or unlikely it is that she’ll be able to complete the task she’s set for herself, and whether it’s worth her time and energy. I wished her good luck and told her to read some books—lots of books.

- Jim Kepler

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